Lately I've been worrying about "doing enough". Am I training enough, am I training the right way enough, am I eating well enough, am I resting enough (no), am I recovering well enough...
am I doing enough to get to Kona?
or I should say "Kona" because right now Kona has become my ideal race. I will need a perfect race to qualify. And you never know I might have the perfect race and NOT qualify. So in my mind "Kona" will be achieved if I give it all I've got...
not just on race day, but in the months leading up to race day...
which is why I've got this case of "enoughs".
I had this list in my head at the beginning of the season. If I could do these things and improve in these ways I could have the race I'd need to qualify.
But here I am about to head in to real IM training and I'm freaking out that I'm not getting better, that I'm not doing ENOUGH
and I'm really freaking out because I don't think I can do any MORE
My mom said to me the other day "a good life isn't about quantity, it's about quality" as in I'm trying to cram too much stuff into my life. I hear her, I really do, but I don't want to give up any of the things I do. I love being a mom, I really enjoy my job and the creative outlet that it gives me, and I cannot exist without triathlon. I know that sounds drastic, but it's fairly true, I've not found anything else that brings me a sense of peace like triathlon workouts.
but on the other hand I don't know if I bringing my best to all of these activities, am I sacrificing quality for quantity?
not sure...
but when it comes right down to it, I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep pushing and trying to find that balance.
when I get to that finish line in Louisville, I'll either have qualified for Kona or I will not have. But if I get to the start line that day knowing that I did all I could to prepare, and I execute to my plan, then I'll have reached my "Kona"
and it will be enough...
maybe.
48 NH 4000 Footers FKT Attempt
2 years ago
i hear ya girlie and I'm not trying to hit Kona. The saving grace in all of this is that Kona isn't going anywhere! :) Your enough this year could be different than your enough next year. Life is just that way. Do ENOUGH every day and w/ every thing.. for that moment and time and let yourself believe and know that in that moment it is ENOUGH! :) Keep it fun.. and intense. ha :) I'm rooting for you!
ReplyDeleteAlthough I'll never be fast enough to think about qualifying for Kona I do know the feeling about "enough". During Optometry School I was challenged day in and day out with whether I did ENOUGH to pass the test, pass the boards, get my doctorate, get my license. Talk about a weight. Knowing if I don't pass this board exam I CAN'T MAKE A LIVING. All that money for nothing. So like us type A people I would put an enormous amount of pressure on myself and think that I would be disappointing all these people (not just myself) if I didn't do well. After each test I would cry thinking I could have studied more, if I had just slept 3 hours vs 4 i could have done better. There were always times that I KNEW I could have been studying for that big test but also knew that studying wasn't the only key to doing well and being happy. You can get so wrapped up in/become obsessed with something that we forget about what is really important. But NO looking back I did give it my best. I did give it MY ENOUGH. If I gave more I would have taken away from somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteThat being said: You are a MOM, you work, and you train. Don't ever doubt yourself. You're already stretched with the kids, and then to find time to work, then training in between that. We are human we need to give ourselves a break. You can always think, perhaps I could have done this, perhaps I could have done that. I had an hour but spent it with my husband ug I feel guilty because I could have been on the bike (even though I did my workout) or perhaps I couldn't squeeze one in one week. But having met you and seen what you are doing(family workouts) you are at a max during the day. If you start changing your "I've done MY ENOUGH" to the
"what ifs"...perspective can turn sour. You've gone from optimistic to pessimistic.
I know you won't go light on yourself. But neither should you be hard on yourself. THere will always be something else... SO It's not a matter of ENOUGH it's a matter of YOUR ENOUGH!!!!!! AND I KNOW WHEN YOU WALK UP TO THE START LINE YOU WILL HAVE DONE YOUR ENOUGH!!!
That is probably the most popular question a triathlete asks oneself-especially leading to Ironman. "Enough" is so individual. You're right too-you can have a "perfect race" (if that exists) and still not qualify-there are so many factors-and yes, even luck involved. for me, looking at each day in and of itself, and asking myself "did I do the best I could given all of "todays' factors" is the better question. And there can be a WIDE range of factors as we all know
ReplyDeleteI look forward in joining you in your process this summer!!
The most famous inner thought of a triathlete "Did I do enough?" Your training will be their and trust your training
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to be filled with self doubt on if you are doing enough... in triathlon, in your career, in your life. And it'll drive you nuts doubting yourself. Finding that balance is such a hard thing.
ReplyDeleteYou will be ready when you toe the line in Louisville. You will be prepared and primed.
Only you can know what enough is... and only you can be confident in your abilities - which are amazing! I can't wait to follow your journey!
Your Mom's comment resonates with me. I am often told that I "have too much" on my proverbial plate. Or people ask how I juggle it all, and I think of all the triathletes I know who are able to commit so much more to their training. I'm glad that you are shooting for "Kona", and you will be satisfied as long as you give it your best effort. You are an amazing athlete, and a wonderful mother, and great friend. You will have a great season!
ReplyDeleteIt will be enough - whether you qualify or not I know you will bring it all to the start line and watching your training you are pouring heart and soul into training. AND reading posts about days at home w/ kiddos - it's all enough and you are great enough - enough said! :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much guys!! I really appreciate your comments! I guess my best solution is to resolve to keep trying my best!! Can't wait to see most of you in Knoxville in a little more than a week!!! whoop whoop!
ReplyDelete"Am I doing enough to get to Kona?" It's good to keep your goals in check when you train, but if you have races in between (which are, as far as I know, less significant) you too must exert about the same effort to finish them. Only then can you consider yourself "enough" for Kona.
ReplyDeleteJust do what you can and don't over pressure yourself. The kids knows they got the best triathlon mom athlete in the whole world.
ReplyDeletetriathlon gear